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Coelho > Warrior of the Light Issue 109
Warrior of the Light
Issue nº 109
Crises and their booby traps
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As we all know, Achilles was the son of the union of a mortal
with a goddess. As every mother always wants to protect her
child from all dangers, she immersed him in a river whose waters
would make him immortal, but held onto him by the heel, which
is why he became vulnerable at that point (there are versions
of the myth where the hero was immersed in dragon’s blood,
and a leaf stuck to his heel). Hence the words Achilles’
heel, showing that regardless of the strength we may feel we
have, there is always a way of getting to us. Clearly, the hero
in this case, dies with an arrow that exactly hits his weak
point.
In 2001, I read “A Sindrome de Aquiles” (The Achilles
Syndrome), by journalist Mario Rosa. The book discusses something
more topical than ever: the crisis.
In his book, Rosa warns us: “the crisis is showing signs”.
Since I read these words, I began to note that before certain
storms invade our back yard, they send small messages, that
we ignore due to laziness or because we think they do not deserve
our attention. Exactly because of this, at the moment when the
wind begins to blow violently, we are absolutely unprepared
for the thunder claps that follow everywhere, and it only remains
for us, as Rosa says, to cope as well as we can with the ensuing
devastation. I took the liberty to use his book as a guide to
try to draw a map of our personal storms.
Origin: the crisis always comes from outside, even if we think
that sometimes it only appears in our souls. Usually, something
insignificant that happened in childhood may bring major consequences
in mature life.
The crisis arrives to destroy: however much we try, romantically,
to associate the word “crisis” to the word “opportunity”
(as the Chinese do), that association is only possible when
we are prepared for the unexpected. As this is rarely the case,
the crisis arrives and begins to crush everything around us.
The truth doesn’t help: recently, during the publication
of my new book, “Zahir”, a Russian dress designer
said, in Moscow’s widest circulation newspaper, that the
story was based on our “love affair” (the muse who
inspired it was in fact Christina Lamb, war correspondent of
the English newspaper Sunday Times). I was silly enough to send
a letter denying it. Practical result: who had not read the
original story, heard about it because of the letter. And soon
speculations began on how men, when their back is to the wall,
always allege innocence.
A problem, however small it may be, can create a gigantic crisis:
In Brazil, a case of bribing a director of the national postal
service, developed into series of accusations affecting various
levels of the federal government. At a wedding, a mere delay
in returning from work may be the straw that breaks the camel’s
back of an entire repressed course of action, which afterwards
is hard to contain.
The facts don’t count, what counts is how public opinion
perceives them: I know a girl whose father hates her mother,
they are always going through difficulties, all of them at home
fight like cats and dogs – but always in low voices. While
the girl has excellent grades at school, while the neighbours
don’t know anything, while “public opinion”
is not enlightened, the impression will be that the world is
under control.
Everything becomes devastating ammunition: as a crisis always
means words falling on deaf ears, where one doesn’t hear
what the other is saying, arguments are useless. If you say
“I love oranges”, the person will understand that
you detest potatoes and is insinuating that he is unhappy because
exactly that night he was served a plate of potato chips at
dinner.
A crisis always involves a symbol: it can be an institution
like marriage, a professional career, a company, religion, love,
or a code of conduct.
I am ending this matter with the opinion of others who study
the subject (Helio Fred Garcia, Professor of Communication of
New York University, and Daí Williams, of the Eos Career
Service, and a text from the University of South Australia).
I have sought to use these specialists’ texts from the
point of view of the individual crisis, although the greater
part refers to political and economic events.
Once a crisis has begun, the worst ways to react are:
A] To ignore the problem. Mary knows that John, her husband,
is about to be fired from his job, which will make it hard for
the family to survive. However, as John doesn’t mention
the matter, she pretends she doesn’t know.
B] To deny the problem. John, on his side, thinks that with
the contacts he has made during life, he will get another opportunity
and, therefore, doesn’t see that he is in a difficult
situation. He forgets that one of the hardest rules of life,
said by Jesus, was: “to those that have little, the little
they have will be taken from them”. At the moment when
he loses his job all these contacts will disappear also, because
John will no longer have anything to offer in exchange.
C] To refuse to ask for help. John and Mary spent many years
together, and know each other extremely well. John’s mind
is full of problems, because the crisis absorbs all the energies
of the human being. Mary perhaps could help him – but
pride does not let him share his difficulties. The result is
that, unable to think clearly, John sinks further and further
into the ocean of his difficulties.
D] To lie or tell half-truths. One day, Mary screws up courage
and, when going to bed, asks if something is wrong. John answers:
“I’m thinking of changing job”. Clearly, from
the legal point of view this may be considered true - John,
as he is about to be fired, really is thinking about finding
a new job. Mary does not anything else. The pressure in John’s
mind increases, because he suspects that his wife knows something,
but now that he has lied, he can no longer use the truth as
a way of saving himself.
E] To blame others. John knows that he is a reputable man, that
he was always been honest at work and tried to give the best
of himself. He thinks his boss is unfair, that he doesn’t
deserve what is happening. The fact is that perhaps the boss
is experiencing the same drama, because all of them are guided
by abstract organisations called “companies”. Even
so, faced by what he considers absurd, instead of keeping a
cool head to handle the moment, he thinks that the world is
made of evil and cruel people.
F] To overestimate one’s own capability: John begins saying
that as he has talent, as he is capable of doing this and that,
he ends up convincing himself that he is not facing a crisis,
but rather a new opportunity. John has a lot of talent, but
that is not enough, because he is not ready for the blow, which
takes away his breath and his enthusiasm.
Because all the wrong steps were taken, the day arrives and
John is sent away. From then on, the family is on the brink
of ruin, because of the precious time lost denying disaster.
What to do, then? Well, I have been through many crises in my
life and I think I have made all the mistakes described above.
Even so, perhaps in the worst of all my crises, friends have
appeared. Since then, the first thing I do is, simply, to ask
for help. Clearly the final decision will be my full responsibility
but, instead of trying to seem strong, I have never regretted
showing myself to be vulnerable to my wife and my friends. And
when I begin to act like that, my capacity to make mistakes
drops a lot, although it continues there, always waiting to
strike.
Copyright
@ 2005 by Paulo Coelho
Warrior of Light Online, published by www.paulocoelho.com.br
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